Because I can, and I should...

Regular readers here (all three of you) will recall that after The Chronicles of Florida, my Mom asked me to edit my blog.

She doesn't read my blog at all - in fact, out of the nearly 150 posts that are "live" at the moment, she has read exactly two of them. And both of those were printed copies that I handed to her. Mom doesn't "do" the Internet. She loves her computer, but her vision has deteriorated from the macular degeneration, making it difficult for her to do almost any kind of reading these days.

._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.

I knew all along that she was right. That it really isn't fair for me to take cheap shots at someone when he doesn't have a chance to defend himself; while The Stepdad does love his email - and is a regular correspondent - he does not care at all for the Internet. He still prefers to do any research he requires "the old-fashioned way", using a bit of shoe leather, the telephone, and the library as his sources. Search engines overwhelm him with information, and he doesn't like trying to sort out the results, or determine which web site might have the most accurate information.

So, not only has he never read my blog, he doesn't fully understand what one is, and has no desire to do so. He also does not know that he is/was/could be a topic of "conversation.

._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.

Mom knows the extent that I have gone to here to protect our identities - especially Twinks identity. She knows that I would never post anything that could possibly lead someone directly back to any of us; and she also knows that this is a very personal venture into publishing for me.

But I recently decided that she was right. I needed to "correct" those posts; to find a way to refer to this person in a way that was less hostile and demeaning, and more neutral.

So, here are the "edited" posts, now restored and "labeled".

The Chronicles of Florida
(remember that the first post in the series is at the bottom; you'll have to work your way up... literally and figuratively)

._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-.

I suppose it seems a pointless exercise to some of you. After all, since he never reads this blog, and Mom typically only reads what I hand to her, many people would reason that there was no real reason to do this.

But there was.

I had to do this for me. Because, truth be told, I was really uncomfortable with the hostility and disrespect I put forth regarding this person. He isn't perfect, to be sure, but he deserves to be treated with respect. And I was so busy being snide that and childish that I failed to follow my cardinal rule: Always treat others the way you would want to be treated.

._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-.

Here's a final bit of irony for you...

As I have been carefully picking my way back through these posts, and editing them, my Mom has been arriving at a few conclusions of her own.

It has been hard for her - terribly difficult - to live so far away from us all of these years. We are her family, and at times, it had seemed to us like he was actively trying to keep us apart.

In the last six months, we have gotten confirmation that this is true. Mom is beyond upset; her trust has been betrayed, and she is seriously reconsidering whether she should remain married to him. She is so serious about it that she is currently residing here at our house. He is currently residing Two Hours East.

I am residing on pins and needles.

13 is not an unlucky number...

...but it is how old Twinks is now.

13.

Thirteen.

thur-teeeeeeen.

No matter how I say it, or spell it, it remains the same. We have crossed a line, a threshold, and Our Little Girl has become a Teen.

One more milestone on our journey as a family. One that Daddy and Mommy both could have happily postponed for a few more years.

The truth is, of course, that Twinks is growing up. Right in front of our eyes, and every day she becomes a bit more self-possessed, a bit more independent. I remember being this age myself all too well, and I suppose that is one reason why I feel this way. Now, more than ever, I want to protect her from what is coming. From getting her heart broken by silly boys and from the "Mean Girls" who might be beautiful and popular, but will never be half the woman that Twinks will become. I want to do more than just guide her through what is coming - I want to blaze the trail for her. I want it to be easy, and I know it won't always be.

Her birthday was a month ago - today. You would think that by now some of the shock would have worn off, but instead I find myself even more surprised by the fact that I am now the mother of an "official" teenager.

How did this happen? More importantly, who was in charge of the numbers? I want a recount - I want someone to come along and tell me that we are all, all of us, wrong. She's not a teenager yet - you still have more time with this precious little girl.

Twinks, Twinkster, The Delightful Miss T. No matter what you call her nowadays, just be sure to add that all-important word:

Teenager.

Happy Belated Birthday, my sweet girl. Um, I mean, teenager. Just remember always that Mommy and Daddy love you with our whole hearts. And that no matter what you do in the world, we will always love you. We might not *like* what you do, but we will always love you. I promise.

And always wear your seat belt.

And remember that you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.

And don't forget to treat others as you wish to be treated; with respect and dignity.

XO

Mom and Dad