Saturday, March 17, 2007

Because I can, and I should...

Regular readers here (all three of you) will recall that after The Chronicles of Florida, my Mom asked me to edit my blog.

She doesn't read my blog at all - in fact, out of the nearly 150 posts that are "live" at the moment, she has read exactly two of them. And both of those were printed copies that I handed to her. Mom doesn't "do" the Internet. She loves her computer, but her vision has deteriorated from the macular degeneration, making it difficult for her to do almost any kind of reading these days.


I knew all along that she was right. That it really isn't fair for me to take cheap shots at someone when he doesn't have a chance to defend himself; while The Stepdad does love his email - and is a regular correspondent - he does not care at all for the Internet. He still prefers to do any research he requires "the old-fashioned way", using a bit of shoe leather, the telephone, and the library as his sources. Search engines overwhelm him with information, and he doesn't like trying to sort out the results, or determine which web site might have the most accurate information.

So, not only has he never read my blog, he doesn't fully understand what one is, and has no desire to do so. He also does not know that he is/was/could be a topic of "conversation.


Mom knows the extent that I have gone to here to protect our identities - especially Twinks identity. She knows that I would never post anything that could possibly lead someone directly back to any of us; and she also knows that this is a very personal venture into publishing for me.

But I recently decided that she was right. I needed to "correct" those posts; to find a way to refer to this person in a way that was less hostile and demeaning, and more neutral.

So, here are the "edited" posts, now restored and "labeled".

The Chronicles of Florida
(remember that the first post in the series is at the bottom; you'll have to work your way up... literally and figuratively)


I suppose it seems a pointless exercise to some of you. After all, since he never reads this blog, and Mom typically only reads what I hand to her, many people would reason that there was no real reason to do this.

But there was.

I had to do this for me. Because, truth be told, I was really uncomfortable with the hostility and disrespect I put forth regarding this person. He isn't perfect, to be sure, but he deserves to be treated with respect. And I was so busy being snide that and childish that I failed to follow my cardinal rule: Always treat others the way you would want to be treated.


Here's a final bit of irony for you...

As I have been carefully picking my way back through these posts, and editing them, my Mom has been arriving at a few conclusions of her own.

It has been hard for her - terribly difficult - to live so far away from us all of these years. We are her family, and at times, it had seemed to us like he was actively trying to keep us apart.

In the last six months, we have gotten confirmation that this is true. Mom is beyond upset; her trust has been betrayed, and she is seriously reconsidering whether she should remain married to him. She is so serious about it that she is currently residing here at our house. He is currently residing Two Hours East.

I am residing on pins and needles.


Kelly said...


Hon, that's not just irony! That's a Soap Opera!


I'm glad you changed the posts, though. That was the right thing to do. Even if your Mom never asked you to. Even if he turns out to be everything you made him out to be. It was still the right thing to do.

Hugs, Thim!

teneal ann said...

You did the right thing, a thing which I honestly probably wouldn't have had the moral fiber to do. Hmm, that's a lot of adverbs.

At any rate, good luck to you with your mom's situation. Hope it turns out well, and no matter how it turns out- Twinks gets to enjoy some more time with her, which I would love to do with my grandma whom resides in Colorado.

Thanks for the comment on my blog, by the way. I really appreciated it.

And finally, before I head to school- happy late, late birthday to the Teen Twinks!

Chuck said...

Good luck with everything, T. I know your Mom is lucky to have a daughter like you and that you'll support her in whatever decisiion she makes.

My Mom has been threatening to start driving again and has talked to a lawyer about it. This has my sisters and I rather concerned. This family thing doesn't get easier as you get older, does it?

Suldog said...

Hah! I'm reply number FOUR, so that puts the lie to your "all three of you" commentary, doesn't it?

You're in my prayers on a nightly basis, Thim. I'll keep it up. Here's hoping you get much good news, very soon.

(*virtual hug*)

teneal ann said...

it's been a long time since encouragement, and a comment on a website, has made me cry or tear up in such a manner.

thanks, thim. i really, really, appreciate your concern. i appreciate your encouragement. past few days have been hard, but knowing you could care in such a manner makes it easier.

i don't have such eloquent words of thanks in return, but just know that what you said touched me, and i'll keep it in mind.

best of luck, as always, to you and yours.