You thought I wasn't coming back.
That I didn't love you anymore.
Well, it isn't true.
I've just been *busy*, that's all.
:::hanging head::: You should know that I haven't read your blog lately. It isn't that I don't care. (I do! Really, I do!) It's certainly not because you aren't a good writer. (You are. Really. I adore your writing.) I've just been so damnably busy, that's all.
I realized (with a huge shock) this afternoon that it had been somewhere around four weeks (+/-) since I had posted here. Or had an opportunity to sit down and read all of you, my beloveds, over there on the blogroll.
Until six days ago, Twinks had remained essentially unchanged. Her medications were being swapped around, and changed every few days. The doctors had the dosage levels going up and down like the big roller coaster at the State Fair.
Twinks pain marched forward relentlessly. She was miserable, and in such poor condition that even school was out of the question. This just added to her misery - she loves school, especially this year when she got the schedule of her dreams; every class she wanted, every teacher she wanted, every elective she wanted. She simply hurt too much to do anything. Reading, video games, DVD's; there was nothing that would be able to distract her for more than a few minutes at a time. She barely was able to keep up with her homework, and struggled to concentrate through the pain.
At night, Twinks would finally fall into a fitful sleep that was punctuated by moaning and groaning. No matter how much she slept, the pain ground her down. She was sliding downhill faster than last spring, before the diagnosis.
The Wrench and I watched helplessly. We found ourselves relegated to just holding her, mopping her tears, begging her to hang on until we could find the right combination of medication.
In desperation, we returned to the specialists, and even found another pediatric rhuematologist for a second opinion. Twinks had now been out of school more than she had been in school this semester, and the school counselor were are assigned to this year was starting to make noises about repeating the semester due to "excessive absences". We were forced to go to each of her doctors to get "notes" indicating that she was indeed under their care, and they were aware that she was currently unable to attend school due to her medical condition.
Finally, we went back to our "regular" pediatrician. Another round of tests; the pressure points, the questions about where and when it hurts the most. In desperation, I ask for a trial of one particular medication. This time, we go to something that we know has a history of success: my Mom takes the same medication for her Fibromyalgia, and has for several years now.
It's not the instant, overnight miracle that we had last spring. It takes longer this time, but Twinks is enough improved that the next morning she is able to go back to school.
Despite her fears that her classmates had forgotten her, she was warmly welcomed back in each class.
Now, nearly a week later, she is continuing to improve, a tiny bit at a time. As long as she gets a good night's sleep, and enough exercise every day, we can keep the Fibromyalgia under better control. It isn't perfect, but it is enough better that she can go to school, and do her homework, and live her life again.
But, of course, just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water...