Thursday, September 01, 2005

Hospital City Redux

Well, here we are again.

Tonight, for the first time in the nearly 12 years that we have been coming here, I feel jittery. Nervous. Restless. Unable to sleep.

I'm tired; exhausted, actually. The drive was no different than usual, but emotionally I am wasted.

The very first time we came here, my mother came along. Twinks was just a baby; she wasn't even a year old. She had spent the first six months of her life in bilateral casts - both legs in plaster and fiberglass from hips to toes. She had exactly three tub baths in her first eight months; during "layovers" between the serial casting. The local doctors had been unable to do anything; they finally told us that we should "give up".

But I couldn't just give up on her. So, I called the Shriners. And after paperwork, and pictures and x-rays were sent to The Hospital, we got The Letter. It came at Christmastime; the appointment was for the first week of the new year.

I cried all the way to Hospital City on that trip. I was terrified that we would get to The Hospital, and they would say "Sorry, nothing we can do". That night, in the local motel we were staying at, my mom held me while I held Twinkle, and we both prayed that the doctors would be able to help her.

I cried the next morning at The Hospital. Then, when The Doctor said he could help Twinkle, I cried some more - only that time, tears of joy, happiness, hope.

The next time we went back to The Hospital after that was for her first surgery. The nurses were so amazed at how calm I was, but I knew I just knew that we were doing the right thing. That Twinkle was in the right place.

All day, I have been searching for that calmness, that tranquility. All evening I have been hoping that the familiarity of this Hotel, this neighborhood, that restaurant, our routine would lull me into that zen-like state.

So far, no good.

I need to sleep. I need to rest, so that I can drive home safely tomorrow. I need to be rested and refreshed at 5:00 am when the alarm goes off.

But I feel like a kid on the night before Christmas.

Look out, Hospital, here we come...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, just came across your blog. I enjoyed it ...most informative.

I've been reviewing other blogs and I book marking the standouts.

Well, needless to say, I have bookmarked your blog.

I also write a blawg. Actually, it's more of a collection of Internet
Tech tips/observations to inform legal (actually most regular sites as well) web site owners how to achieve improved search engine standings while avoiding the many Internet scams.

My blawg legal
advice library
site. is still very much a work in progress.
My legal directorySan Francisco lawyers - attorneys Directory site is the newer of our 15 legal directory sites that cover California, Texas and Las Vegas.

Please visit and check them out if you have the time

MORE IMPORTANTLY . . .I have been watching the news about Hurricane Katrina as I am sure you have been too. My heart goes out to these people and I pray they get the assitance they need as fast as humanly possible.

What makes me sick are the emails I have been receiving over the past few days from people "claiming" to help. Maybe they are sincere maybe not. I don't know.

-------------------------------------------------------------
If You Want To Help The Hurricane Efforts
-------------------------------------------------------------

Here's two links to legitimate organizations to donate you money to if you want to help.

FEMA - http://www.fema.gov
Red Cross - http://www.redcross.org


Feel free to pass this message on to someone else.

Help someone and donate what you can today.

Flip said...

I'm so excited for you both. I can't wait to hear the good news.

*great bigs hugs to both you a Twinkle*

-Flip

Tenn said...

-Hugs- I suppose you've got the brace now? I was praying- I was busy the past few days and never commented.

w00000t! Congrats!