Sunday, November 16, 2008

Top Ten Ways to Survive The Holidays at Our House...

10. Remember the Cardinal Rule: MAMA HAS DECLARED THAT NO GOODIES, TREATIES, OR SURPRISES WILL BE PURCHASED FOR ANY FAMILY MEMBER FROM OCTOBER 31 UNTIL DECEMBER 31. PERIOD. Food, underwear, socks, and school supplies are not included in the purchasing embargo. You can (and will!) survive until Christmas without that CD, DVD, video game, etc., etc., etc.

9. DO NOT ASK THE MAMA FOR SPECIAL DISPENSATION TO ITEM #10. Just don't. You'll be sorry - really sorry if you do...

8. The closer we get to Christmas, the crazier things will get "out there". Therefore, when shopping, it is All Hands On Deck. Everyone takes a hunk of the list, and we will blaze through that store like Marines storming an enemy front, and we will get out of there as fast as we can.

7. Anything and everything that can be ordered from the Internet or catalogs, shall be. UPS and FedEx are our friends, and we shall remember this in all interactions with their personnel.

6. Just because we are knee-deep in getting ready for Christmas does not mean that we abandon our usual rules regarding housework. You still have to pick up after yourself, you still have to make your bed, and hang up your coat. THE MAMA IS NOT YOUR MAID, and it will behoove you to remember this!

5. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FIND THE PRESENTS. The Mama has hidden them well. Those caught "snooping" will find out that their presents have been returned in favor of "fun" items like three-hole-punched notebook paper, bars of Ivory soap, or a lovely new carton of Tidy Cat cat litter...

4. Check to see if you need an "altitude adjustment". Remember that all of the madness, the joy, the sights, sounds, smells and surprises are external to what we are celebrating. CHRISTMAS IS NOT ABOUT THE STUFF. It is about faith, and thanksgiving, and the celebration of a new life given for all humanity. The "stuff" is just capitalism at it's finest.

3. Remember to be thoughtful of those less fortunate than we are. When the call goes out (and it will) for donations for the community food pantry - or for warm gloves and hats and socks for the homeless - or for Toys for Tots - or any other need... we must respond. We are so richly blessed; we have a wonderful house to live in that is warm and safe and dry. We have plenty of food to eat, and warm, clean, dry clothes to wear. We have heat, and water and electricity. We have reliable transportation, and a garage to park it in. So when our neighbors need some help, we should, we must, we will. So when you see The Mama shopping for socks, gloves, hats or other things that don't seem to make sense - remember that Christmas isn't always about just you...

2. Our house - our home - is our refuge against the holiday madness. DO NOT ANGER THE MAMA BY BRINGING STRESS, DRAMA, OR CRAP INTO THIS HOUSE DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON. You will NOT be happy with the result, I can guarantee you...

1. Remember always, that THANKSGIVING COMES FIRST. In every way. Not just on the calendar (althought it most certainly does come first on the calendar, as well) but we must always remember to practice Thanksgiving for our blessings. Our lives may not be as "perfect" as we would like, but it is important to always remember the good and positive things that we have. Start by thinking of all the people in this world who love you, and go from there. You'll be amazed at how "rich" you really are.


14 comments:

Chuck said...

Wow, Mama runs a tight ship! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving AND Christmas.

Suldog said...

Thanks AGAIN for the linkage! Both of your posts are mentioned in mine which will be up in an hour or so.

alpharat said...

They seem like firm, but fair rules. I shall think about putting a similar list of rules in our house someday.

Word verification "neste", as in all homey and stuff...

Karen said...

Amen, sister, and I second the opinion.

We stopped buying gifts a few years ago, we just don't. IF the people we love don't love us just as much when we arrive with home made cookies instead of a brand new "whatever", then they don't love us just as much. We (as in me and FabGrandpa) want Christmas to be about the love and the being together, not about how much debt we can go in to make other people happy. And the food. Yeah, the food.

Thimbelle said...

Chuck - don't you know it!!! I run this ship with a firm, but fair hand. I am a benevolent dictator!

Sully - you know I'm ALWAYS on board on this topic. And you should start looking for that fruitcake in just a couple of weeks! (Like I could forget!) :)

Alpharat - Thank you! Feel free to take the list, and tweak it as needed to ensure Holiday Harmony!

Fab Karen Grandma - We also bake cookies (our record year was something like 182 DOZEN!) and we make trays for family, friends, and neighbors and then we take huge trays to the firehouse and the police station. Our "regulars" would always rather get the cookie tray than any amount of gifts - I think we have trained them quite well! LOL!

Ericka said...

yay! you're back! you'd think there was a real life or something out there...

and you've reminded me that i STILL haven't posted my thanksgiving first post. *sigh* homework for tonight...

Thimbelle said...

Ericka - I hope to get back to a regular schedule of posting again... I've spent the last week just catching up on reading everyone's blogs!!!

Belinda said...

Yes, of course.... I too love Thanksgiving. It's the time to me for shopping & enjoyment.

Suldog said...

Fruitcake! Yes! May all your dreams come true, lovely one!

Thimbelle said...

Sully - And such fruitcake it is, too! It is the stuff of legends - once you have tasted this cake, you will - like us - have to have one every year!

Coming soon to a mailbox near you!

mlh said...

Wow! I am so there! Mama DOES know best in this situation.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

Thimbelle said...

mlh: See, this is why I love you. You totally GET me.

Because you have expressed total devotion to The Rules, you may come and live in my Kingdom. Fear not, for I am a benevolent Mama, and you will have Special Dispensations PLUS extra hot chocolate and sugar cookies!

mlh said...

Hot chocolate AND SUGAR COOKIES! Forget the Special dispenses! I am so going to the Kingdom, as long as there is DSL.

Thimbelle said...

M, dear, OF COURSE THERE IS DSL!

The Mama cannot abibe an abode without bandwidth!