Happy Birthday to The Wrench!
That's right. Today, September 19, is your birthday.
It is time for me to tell the world, my darling, how very much I love you.
How happy I am (still, after nearly 19 years of marriage) to be your bride.
It is also, sadly for you, time for me to once again remind the world that you will now be Officially Older Than Me.
I love this time of year. I'm sorry, because I know that you harbor a wish, deep within your soul, that I would just :::forget::: about it every year.
But, I'm not going to. Nope, it is with great glee that I tell everyone - and you know that I must - that you are Old. Older than me! Not the same age anymore! And, with the wonder and magic that is The Calendar, it shall remain so until next July, when I will (for just a few tiny little weeks) catch up with you again. Although, even then, you will still *technically* be older than me; we will just briefly share the same age "number", that is all. But until then - you are Old.
Old is, by my definition, anyone who is older than me. That's all that counts. You are, by my reckoning, somewhere around 270 days older than me. That's right, old man - I did the math. In fact, I was even *generous*, and rounded down. You're Old.
Ancient. Antique. Hoary. Elderly. Aged. Geriatric. Senior Citizen. Doddering Old Fart.
No mistaking it, darling husband of mine. As of today, you are Old.
But just remember, you lucky old coot... I've always had a thing for older men.
Happy Birthday, baby.
I love you.